Just for fun

 

Teacher: “What’s another name for Santa’s elves?”
Pupil: “Subordinate Clauses.”

Teacher: “Don’t you know the Queen’s English?”
Pupil: “Well, yes, I have heard that she is.”

Punctuation can save lives! How? Look at this!
Let’s eat Grandma!
Let’s eat, Grandma!

Teacher talking to the twins in his class: “Guys, the stories you handed in on „Our pet“ is identical.”
Twins: “Of course. It’s the same guinea pig.”

Teacher to student: “Your spelling is much better this time. You have only got five mistakes.”
Pupil: “Thank you. I’m really relieved about that!”
Teacher: “Now let’s go on to the next word.”

Teacher: “Give me a sentence starting with ‚I‘.“
Pupil: “I is…”
Teacher: “No, no, no! Always say ‚I am‘.“
Pupil: “All right. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.“

Teacher: “Define the word ’synonym‘.”
Pupil: “A word which you use if you can’t spell the other word.”

Teacher: “Whoever answers my next question, can go home.”
One boy jumps up and throws his bag out the window.
Teacher: “What the heck was that?!”
Boy: “A schoolbag!”

Boy: “Dad, I don’t want to go to school today.“
Dad: “Why not, son?“
Boy: “Well, one of the chickens on the school farm died last week and we had chicken soup for lunch the next day. A day later, one of the pigs died and we had roast pork for the following two days.“
Dad: “Well, but why don’t you want to go today?“
Boy: “Our caretakers old cat died yesterday…“

Teacher: “’I robbed a bank.‘ What is that in future tense.“
Student: “You will go to jail.“

Mom: “What did you do at school today?”
Daughter: “We did a guessing game.”
Mom: “But I thought that you were having a math test?”
Daughter: “That’s right!”